


Nominis

by Oh_Snapcrackle



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Astral Projection, Ben Solo Needs A Hug, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Force Bond (Star Wars), Force Bond Shenanigans, Happy Ending, Legilimency, Legilimens, Mutual Pining, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Redeemed Ben Solo, Rey Needs A Hug, Secret Crush, Sharing a Bed, Slow Burn, Smut
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-29
Updated: 2019-04-20
Packaged: 2019-09-30 01:58:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,592
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17214881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Oh_Snapcrackle/pseuds/Oh_Snapcrackle
Summary: He must feel her gaze because it doesn’t take long before one of his eyes slowly cracks open. There is a twinkle to it, a little hint of mischief that makes her stomach somersault.“Solo, close those eyes. Remember what we discussed about meditation.”Ben’s smile falters. A flash of anger ignites in his eye, and it’s so different from the warmth she saw a second before. She watches as his hands ball into fists and his jaw clenches.All of this because his uncle spoke to him?She shuts her eyes, knowing Skywalker is sure to look at her next.“And you, too, Miss Niima. Don’t let my nephew derail your practice.”He has a reputation. It’s not a good one.When Professor Skywalker partners Rey with the notorious Ben Solo for occulmency lessons, something goes wrong (or very right) and now their minds are bridged. Between sharing thoughts, inconvenient astral projections, and bedsharing Rey starts to learn that while Ben Solo deserves the reputation he has built, he also deserves the opportunity to change.AKA: The force bond Harry Potter style.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [foxandstone](https://archiveofourown.org/users/foxandstone/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a gift for foxandstone, my secret santa for reylosnetwork. Turns out we share quite a few trope interests - so this was a thrill to write. She is a fan of angst to fluff, cold turned cinnamon roll Ben, force bond shenanigans, and Harry Potter AUs so here we are - a force bond fic Harry Potter style. I hope you enjoy this, darling. And thank you for giving me the chance to revisit my first fandom.

_magni nomini umbra  
__[the shadow of a great name]_ \- Marcus Annaeus Lucanus a.d. 39 - 65

 

Ben Solo has a reputation.

It’s not a good one.

Two days into her NEWT level Defense Against the Dark Arts class and this is the most time she has spent in the presence of Ben Solo. After hearing all the seventh years bemoan his existence for years, she thought there would be more to him. Sure he is a behemoth - somehow she ends up sitting right behind him - and the expanse of his back makes it impossible to see the chalkboard.

She’s not even short.

And this is with him hunched like a turtle trying to tuck into its shell.

Two days ago, when she first took her seat behind him, she kept standing on the bottom rung to see the chalkboard. But then her stool would scoot across the stone floor and let out a horrendous screeching noise that made everyone turn and glare at her. No matter how hard she tried, it just kept happening - and his shoulders would ripple like she shot him with a shuddering hex. Until eventually she went deathly still, preparing for him to turn around and berate her for incompetence.

But he never did. And today he seems to be going out of his way to hunker down so she can see the board.

Which makes her wonder if half the stories about Ben Solo are exaggerations. Oh some of them she knows to be true. She saw the showdown with him and Skywalker in the Great Hall last year that ended with Skywalker locking him in a body-binding hex and levitating him up to the Headmaster’s office. She’s seen him stomping through the hallways, cloak billowing behind him with an intensity that makes even Peeves disappear. Once she caught him in an empty classroom slashing through desks and igniting papers in a savage rage.

Has seen him duel classmates on the grounds when classes are in session and the Professors are too busy to catch-on.

Though sometimes he duels when they are watching - especially if Skywalker is around. Which always ends the same way - Skywalker stomping across the grounds, wand lifted as he sends his nephew flying through the air.

But she has witnessed softer moments. Like the time he helped pick up some spilled papers for a first year. Watched him sit the library for hours tutoring a fourth year in transfiguration. Watches him bury himself in book after book, and talk kindly to the librarian that lets him check out more books than anyone else is allowed to borrow.

She knows.

She’s tried.

Glimpsed him across the hall when he lets out a bellowing laugh. Notes the way the other Slytherins, even Hux, follow his lead when he isn’t in a snit. How the first and second years greet him with something akin to awe.

And she supposes she sometimes goes out of her way to watch him, curious about this enigma of a boy - or more man now that he is seventeen and will graduate in the spring. An entire year above her own. Because sometimes she thinks that while the Hogwarts rumor mill thrives on tales of his dramatic tantrums and gruff exterior, it often overlooks the other side of him.

She’s just never had the chance to find out for herself how much is the real Ben Solo.

Or maybe it's just her bleeding Hufflepuff heart that can’t help but sympathize with monsters.

Which is why she gives up trying to copy from the board halfway through Skywalker’s instruction on shielding and hexes, chews idly on her quill, instead. All while she stares at Solo’s back trying to figure…him…out.

She does love a good puzzle.

He’s scribbling away idly on his parchment. So she tilts her head to see a range of symbols and numbers she recognizes from Arithmancy along the margins. And hell that isn’t an easy class. As a future curse-breaker herself, it is one of her class requirements, and while she happens to excel at it, she knows over half drop the class before the end of the term.

So he’s not an idiot.

She shoots a glance up at Skywalker to make sure he isn’t watching - the last thing she wants is Skywalker yelling at her for not paying attention. She doesn’t need another detention this early in the year. And curious to see if she is right about Ben making it easier for her to see the board, she very gently leans forward, so her stool squeaks loudly against the floor.

All the heads in her vicinity shoot up to glance at her, including Skywalker. Everyone except Ben, who if possible, manages to shrink himself into something even smaller.

_Ah ha._

She tosses the class a sheepish smile and slips slowly back onto her stool, hastily writing whatever jumble of text is on the board until everyone looks away.

_So he is trying to be considerate._

Which is a far cry from most Slytherins she knows like Jessica and Poe, who are prone to be oblivious to things like consideration.

“So while we enter into our first project of the semester we will establish partnerships.”

Rey snaps out of her reverie as the pattern of Skywalker’s tone shifts from instructional to commanding. She scrambles to read the blackboard and internally groans as she realizes she missed a good chunk of the lesson. Somehow they jumped from hexes to something she is not entirely -

She squints at the last word.

Occulmency.

_Merlin’s beard, Kaydel was right. Skywalker has been hit one too many times with a confundus charm._

“This is rare and difficult magic — one that requires intense practice and meditation. But it is also one that can save your life, protect your mind from intrusion, and even protect your friends. Many do not abide by the wizarding laws, and many will use their gifts to do you harm. So, sixth years, you will start your first semester learning how to block and deter a mental invasion from our seventh years who need to hone their skills in both occulmency and legilimency. This will give you a year - or two -“

_The seventh years were right - Skywalker really shows his paranoia in the NEWT classes._

Skywalker’s eyes snap to Rey. She sinks onto her stool realizing he might have overheard that thought.

“To gain mastery. Under my supervision, of course.” And then his eyes slide over to his nephew. And for the first time in two class periods, Rey sees Ben unfold to his full height. Goes rigid, insulted by his uncle’s suggestion.

Skywalker is already moving on, completely ignoring the change in his nephew.

“Now I have selected partners based on best fit. When practicing it is essential you have the best possible match - compatibility if you will.”

“There are many algorithms involved. All of which I have checked, and double checked. So when you come to complain to me about your partnership - know that it is futile.”

There are a couple of groans and murmurs.

“Shall we begin?”

They all nod.

So he starts reading off the list.

“Poe Dameron and Jessica Pava.”

 _No surprise there_ , she thinks as the two seventh year Slytherins high five each other. And so it goes until there are just a handful of students left.

Rey glances around, a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach. It’s slim pickings. Sure there is Rose, who is eyeing her hopefully across the room. She would love nothing more than to be paired with Finn’s new girlfriend. She rather likes her. A bit of a hot head, but otherwise a complete sweetheart.

The other options are far less appealing. There is Craig Jameson, a Ravenclaw with a penchant for being an insufferable know it all. He has a thing for plants.

Not her cup of tea.

And then there is the Slytherin in her year that speaks in riddles all the bloody time.

She desperately hopes its not him. She has a hard time not hexing him in regular classes as is.

And of course there is Phasma, the seventh year Slytherin that eyes Rey like she is a cockroach. The one that once crushed a mandrake baby with the heel of her foot for crying too loudly. Shudders at the thought of being partnered with her.

And then there is Ben Solo.

When Luke turns in her direction, eyes never leaving his list, she knows before the words leave his mouth.

“Ben Solo and Rey Niima.”

And now it is Ben’s stool screeching across the stone as he turns around.

Their eyes lock for the first time in six years.

 _He has a reputation. And it's not a good one_ , her mind whispers frantically as her heart rate skyrockets.

\---

“He’s not all that bad,” Kaydel mutters between a bite of bread and a swig of pumpkin juice. “Sure he has some intense moments, but most of the time he’s harmless. And on good days he can even be slightly charming.”

Jammed between Finn and Paige at the Hufflepuff table, Rey stuffs her face with whatever she manages to pile on her plate. Seconds before she had been murmuring with Finn about her predicament, but then the seventh years had overheard…and, well, they can always sniff out a scandal.

Paige snorts into her juice, giving Kaydel the side eye. “You are too biased, Kaydel.” And then she is leaning in conspiratorially toward Rey, “She’s been crushing on him since fifth year when he helped her with a potions essay.”

Kaydel’s cheeks turn pink, “It's not like that, Paige.”

“So, then what is he really like? He doesn’t seem that bad in class. The only time he got upset was when Skywalker commented about supervising the lessons.”

The way Skywalker had looked at his nephew sent a chill down her back. She’s only ever seen the calm and chill Professor Skywalker - the one that occasionally gets a little dramatic when he is excited to introduce some new dark subject (that is only mildly threatening). But that look, it had been pure Luke Skywalker the famed Auror that took down the Dark Lord Vader. A reminder that while he rolls his eyes in exasperation or gives sassy retorts to stupid questions - he is one of the most formidable wizards alive.

A slight hush falls over the table, and Kaydel and Paige are exchanging a gaze that makes her insides squirm. She pins them with a glare.

“Out with it.”

Paige goes to open her mouth and then shuts it. Shoots Kaydel a warning glare.

Which has no effect as Kaydel then leans forward, dropping her voice.

“It's just, well, there are rumors.”

The only kind of rumors that require this level of secrecy are ones that speak of unexpected pregnancies, cheating, or the worst rumor one can have attached to them - a practitioner of the dark arts.

And considering Ben is a male and as far as she knows the wizarding world hasn’t found a way to make men carry babies (yet!). And he doesn’t have a girlfriend to cheat on - that she is aware of - there can only be one possibility. Her blood runs cold.

She suspected this. Has heard the hushed whispers about him and the other Slytherin, Hux. But she had never paid them much mind. She just chalked it up to prejudices.

Since the wizarding world is full of them.

“No.” She hisses, and Finn with her.

“Supposedly that is why Skywalker is so hard on him. And people say that is why Ben was so upset last year when he exploded in the Great Hall rambling about Skywalker holding him back and not letting him meet his full potential.”

She can picture the day in her mind, though it is slightly blurry with time. But Ben’s enraged words are clear and the outline of him staring down his uncle is enough to make ice run through her veins. Kaydel’s right, the vitriol Ben was spewing that day, about not being allowed to progress in his learning or reach his potential - it sounds so damning.

“But Ben’s in DA. If Skywalker kicked him out last year, how did he get back in?”

Paige shifts in her seat, subtly casting a glance across the hall in the direction of the Slytherin table.

“Supposedly he knew someone that took it to the ministry. Since he scored an exceptional on his OWL and his grades were the best in the year, Skywalker had no means to keep him out of DA.”

She is about to ask more of the hundreds of questions that are swirling through her mind, but then the Gryffindor table lets out a loud, brash noise, and something explodes above them. Kaydel and Paige are suddenly very interested in the display, and Rey is left to swallow her questions.

——

“The first step is to clear the mind.”

Rey cracks an eye, not feeling this meditative stuff. It’s been a good thirty minutes of these ‘clearing the mind’ suggestions and all she has to show for it is an aching back and some numb toes. Peeking, she sees that most are following Skywalker’s instructions, though Higgins is snoring lightly so maybe the rest just fell into a catatonic sleep, too? But no one else is sneaking a peek.

Except for Ben Solo.

She has to hold in a laugh. He’s perched cross-legged on a tiny floor cushion, his obscenely long legs struggling not to touch knees with his neighbors. And surely only half of his ass fits on the fuchsia and gold cushion.

He raises an eyebrow, and his grin spreads wide, making her fight back a snort.

Skywalker chooses this moment to pause behind his nephew and pins her with a questioning look. Her back goes ramrod straight, and she clenches her eyes shut.

She hears him give an exasperated sigh, but he moves on.

She gives meditation another try. Just as Skywalker explained earlier, she visualizes a cup. Next she imagines her thoughts, but as words. Lets them fall into the cup and then tips it over, so all the ideas empty away. It kind of sort of works until her thoughts are moving so fast and then her cup runneth over - and merlin is that Craig muttering under his breathe two people down from her? And just how many times will the boggart shake the doors of the wardrobe?

When she hears Skywalker’s feet step further down the line of students, she lets out a sigh of relief and cracks her eye again. Curious to see if Ben is still peeking.

He’s not. His eyes are closed and his breath is coming out in a controlled rhythm.

Then she catches the shadow of a smirk tugging on his bottom lip, and she knows the bastard is more amused with this practice than he is invested.

He must feel her gaze because it doesn’t take long before one of his eyes slowly cracks open. There is a twinkle to it, a little hint of mischief that makes her stomach somersault.

“Solo, close those eyes. Remember what we discussed about meditation.”

Ben’s smile falters. A flash of anger ignites in his eye, and it's so different from the warmth she saw a second before. She watches as his hands ball into fists and his jaw clenches.

All of this because his uncle spoke to him?

She shuts her eyes, knowing Skywalker is sure to look at her next.

“And you, too, Miss Niima. Don’t let my nephew derail your practice.”

The rest of class continues in meditative silence.

——

Maybe this occulmency thing won’t be as bad as she thinks?

So she tells herself while she waits outside the door, leaning against the stone wall with a few other early arrivals. Rose is too busy making smoochy eyes with Finn on the other end of her two-way compact mirror to pay her any mind. And honestly, she can’t watch that, not when her stomach is doing flips.

Maybe it was a bad idea to eat all those cakes at breakfast?

Today is the day they start officially practicing.

No more mediation practice. No, it's finally time that Ben will enter her mind and she will have to work on producing a barrier.

She glances around at all the others in the class, wondering why they aren’t having panic attacks over someone entering their minds. How are they not worried about someone uncovering their secrets? Or learning how they got their first kiss - or if they’ve never had one? Or something else insanely humiliating?

But they don’t appear flustered.

And for the first time in her life, she wonders just where her courage got off to.

Luke comes around the corner, cape billowing behind him and making all the portraits titter in excitement. He walks right past them into the room, raising his wand to ignite the candles before heading to his desk and spinning around in the most dramatic fashion.

She follows after, taking her usual seat and clasping her hands to keep them from fiddling with things. And when Ben comes straggling into the classroom, his robes billowing behind him, she bites her lip to keep from laughing at how much he looks like his uncle.

A flair for the dramatic must run in the family, she thinks.

And then something strange happens.

Ben snaps his head suddenly, turning toward her with a knit brow and surprise.

“What did you just say?” He barks.

He has never used that tone with her in all the weeks they have worked together.

“I didn’t say anything.”

He drops his bag on the table and leans into her space.

“So I am just to pretend you never said I was dramatic?”

There is this warning tone to his voice that she does not like one bit. And she is pushing back her stool, leaning over the table to meet his glower with one of her own.

“I didn’t say a word, Solo.”

And then his words sink in. The bit about him being dramatic. And she does take a step back because maybe that slipped out and she didn’t realize it?

“Solo, back off. Rey didn’t say a word. You’re hearing things.”

Both of their heads snap to Poe who is settling into his seat, Jessica right next to him.

Ben growls and then turns around, glaring at Rey before he settles to his seat and leans over the table to scribble away on some parchment.

Rey uses the moment to lean toward Poe and lowers her voice so no one else can hear.

“Are you sure I didn’t say something?”

He gives her a strange look and then shrugs. “Not that I heard. And even if you did, Ben had no reason to talk to you that way.”

And Poe’s voice goes up an octave just so Ben can hear it, and Rey quickly scoots away, flushed. Ben ignores them. But his shoulders, she notices, do constrict.

——

It’s bad. It’s really, really, really bad.

He smells of old books and cedar, and something else she can’t place. Defiantly something masculine. And it's doing not so good things to her thoughts. Or her stomach for that matter.

As much as she tries not to inhale through her nose, she can’t very well breathe through her mouth for the rest of the class period. Can she?

Surely he will notice something if she did.

But there is something wrong with her. Something very wrong.

Because when Luke has them settle onto their cushions, making them sit so their knees touch and their hands press flat against each other as they practice emptying their minds, it puts her so close that he consumes all her senses. Every time she inhales she smells him. And every time their hands press together there is this zing that makes her skin prickle nicely. And all she seems capable of hearing is his controlled breaths.

She can’t decide if she wants to pull away in shock or to stay.

His hands dwarf hers.

Just how the hell is she supposed to focus?

“Clear your minds,” Luke calls out, voice soothing and calm, “Now take the next step.”

They drop their hands and shift, eyes slowly opening.

“Proceed.”

She takes a shuttering breath as she looks up at Ben.

“The doorway to the mind is the eyes,” Luke says from somewhere far away.

She never noticed the warmth of his eyes before - like a dark whiskey.

There is a soft brush against her mind. Ben. His mind. And immediately a calm falls over her - as she cuddled in a warm blanket before a fire. _Nothing to fear._ She thinks. _Nothing to fear. He won’t hurt me._

“Bring to mind something peaceful. A happy thought.” Luke's voice slips through the haze.

And that is when it all goes to hell.

All Ben's preparations, all his pumping calm emotions into her mind do nothing tame the streak of panic that surges up at the Professor’s words. She hadn’t known he would ask _this_. And she is shuffling through her thoughts, desperately trying to think of something that will work. But nothing is coming, and all that seems to rise to the surface is everything _but_ pleasant thoughts.

Ben must feel her panic because she can hear his words echoing in her mind. “It's okay, Rey. I won’t hurt you.”

But her minds is screaming and she knows tears are pouring from her eyes as she frantically tries to calm the tide. “But I don’t know where - I can’t find -”

And then she feels it click in his mind why she is struggling, that it's not fear of him, but that she is flustered and can’t find a happy thought. A wave of empathetic understanding washes over her.

“What about your patronus memory? You can make one of those, right?”

She freezes up, and it at least keeps the tide at bay. Because yes, she can make a perfectly adequate patronus, but it's not the way everyone else manages to make one. And she can’t show him that. It's not even a real memory - it's just -

“Rey, what is wrong?”

And wrong sure was the _wrong_ thing to say, because it strikes a live wire in her mind. All her jumbled thoughts rise to surface and pull them under. Suddenly he is everywhere in her mind, tumbling through layers of memories that form an unbearable cacophony. Intuitively, she knows that if this continues it will destroy her. So she pulls the only thought she can manage to find in all the chaos.

It isn’t pleasant, but it is familiar. And with a flash it’s there - the bite of chill fleeing as she scoots closer to a warm fireplace. The feel of her doll clutched in her embrace while she watches the flames lick at the brick. How the words from the woman in the chair behind her flow peacefully through the room while the other children fall gently to sleep on any surface they can find. But Rey, she stays until the last words of the fable are read. And only then does she let her eyes fall close.

But what she knows will follow; that she can’t let him see.

So she pushes back against his mind.

Hard.

Tumbles and feels things go topsy-turvey. There is a hiss of surprise, a slither of friction, and then -

All goes calm. She is in a place she doesn’t recognize. It's a lawn, green and fresh cut with a curious house on the horizon. As she is about to start toward it, a voice pulls her attention away. She gazes across a field; one converted into a Quidditch pitch, complete with all the goal posts and flapping flags.

“I want to go, too.”

She stares at little boy sitting on one of those toy brooms she has seen in the shops - the ones that hover just a foot off the ground. He’s got the chubbiest cheeks and a head full of ebony curls. Even though he can’t be more than four, she knows him instantly.

Ben.

_It’s one of his memories._

The little boy is reaching up toward a man hovering just out of reach.

“I know little starfighter, but you’ve got to keep an eye on your mum. Make sure she doesn’t work too hard.”

But she can see the building of a tantrum. The way the little boy’s shoulders shake, how his cheeks turn red, and he starts to tear up.

“Get…out…of…my…head…” She hears a deep bellow. Things start to grow blurry and fade out.

She comes to kicking and screaming and finds she is sprawled out on the stone floor of the DA room. Her heart is pounding wildly, and her head is pounding as if someone scrapped their fingernails down the inside of her skull.

“Rey! Rey!” Skywalker is calling her name, and she manages to lift herself enough to look forward. Skywalker is a foot away, one hand stretched toward her, but his other hand is against the chest of his nephew.

Her eyes flit to Ben, who is hunched over, clutching his head and staring at her with wide eyes.

“Ben, don’t.” Skywalker turns his attention to his nephew who is starting to get up, his lip curling. But Ben pushes Luke’s hand off and half slinks, half stomps over to where Rey is splayed out on the floor.

“Don’t speak of it.” He growls out, and all she can do is nod because he is starting to lean over her, pressing into her space. And it's not the pleasant shared space she liked before. This time it reeks of intimidation.

“I won’t. I promise.”

“I know you won’t.”

She gulps and nods, “You - you - I wouldn’t do it anyway. It's your memory. I didn’t mean to -“

And all that posturing leaves him, like a deflating balloon.

And she feels it too. When the exhaustion hits her, and her mind starts to ache again.

“-Infirmary,” She manages to hear Luke call as the room gets fuzzy at the edges.

There is this feeling of being lifted, and not by magic but by arms sneaking under her. And then she is rolling into a warm chest. She blacks out to heady scent of old books, cedar, and something distinctly Ben.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> And Happy Holidays to those celebrating.
> 
> If you are so inclined, I'd love to know what you thought about the story so far. What do you think of their house choices? Ideas for some force shenanigans? And why was Ben kicked out of DA originally? Kudos are always super appreciated.💕


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey sees something she shouldn't. Luke is being cagey. Ben has a chip on his shoulder.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry this took so long to get out. Thank you to everyone that left kudos and comments. 
> 
> Enjoy. <3

After she is released from the infirmary with a sleeping draught and a command to get some sleep, Rey drags her exhausted tail back to the dormitory. It is blissfully empty, and she idly hopes Finn is taking good notes as she slips between her sunshine colored sheets. Her head falls to her pillow.

At first, her sleep is calm. She falls quickly, and she falls hard. But halfway into the night her dreamless sleep shifts.

She wakes in a room cast in shadow, where cracking plaster speeds along aging walls caked in layers of dust and grime. She slowly turns, eyes settling on a massive wingback chair. Behind it, a small fire flickers in the hearth. It isn't until a man leans forward, drawing back his hood and exposing his wrinkled face to the light, that she realizes she isn't alone. 

A pale, twisted smile tugs at his lips as he stretches out a spindly hand and crooks a finger, beckoning her forward. 

Her body moves of its own accord until she is close enough for him to cup her face.

"My apprentice." A chill slithers down her spine at the sickly intimate feel of his voice. 

"You failed me."

A hiss passes the man’s lips, and then she is screaming as every nerve in her body spasms. It rips through her toes and her fingers, dancing along her spine and radiating through her head. Her knees crumble, and she falls forward until she is kneeling at his feet.

“What will you do to rectify this, Solo?”

She lifts her head, turning it to the side. And there, curled in the corner, are several people beaten and bruised. Their wide eyes stare fearfully at her when she rises, legs wobbly as residual shocks of pain flicker through her nerves.

Her hand lifts to extend her wand. Bile rises in the back of her throat as the words gather on the tip of her tongue - words so unfamiliar and cruel they bubble and froth from her lips like a sickly poison. And when they are said, all she tastes is ash.

_Crucio. Crucio. Crucio._

She prepares herself for their spasming faces.

Instead, she wakes, thrashing against her yellow sheets and staring wildly at the wooden slats of her fourposter bed. Sweat trickles down her brow. She sits up, gasping for breath before running a hand through her drenched hair.

_What did Madame Kalonia put in that Sleeping Draught?_

When her hand drops from her brow, instead of meeting silky sheets it meets something warm and substantial. Surprised, she turns her head, and her mouth falls open in shock.

It's an expansive arm, bare and attached to a broad chest that is rising and falling rapidly. Her eyes flash upward, already knowing what she will see, but not prepared for the affirmation. There is only one person in the school she knows that is a such a contradiction of gangly and muscled. And sure enough, there is his shock of black hair, the prominent nose, and the hint of an ear peeking up from damp curls.

Ben.

She must say his name out loud because he coughs and then wakes.

Panicked she scuttles backward and runs out of bed. 

"Rey?" His confused voice, drowsed in sleep, sounds like velvet.

It is the last thing she registers before she hits the floor with a startled yelp, tangled in curtains.

There are a couple of confused gasps from her dorm mates before one of them has the sense to hiss lumos. Then the room is bathed in an unearthly glow, leaving Rey blushing furiously. She jumps up, gathering her bed curtains in preparation to throw them over Ben - she will never hear the end of it if they see him half-naked in her bed.

But she stills when there is nothing in her bed - just a ripple in her sheets that hint he was there.

"What the hell, Rey?" One of the girls growls out.

"Yeah," she whispers to herself, "What the hell?"

——

She is thirty minutes early to DADA, determined to speak to Professor Skywalker before her classmates leave breakfast. So when she peeks into the room she is relieved to find he is sitting behind his desk, marking papers and sipping on caff.

He glances up at the sound of her mary janes clacking against the stone. His eyes quickly take in her harried state, and the smile that was starting to form diminishes into worry.

"Good morning, Rey."

"Morning Professor."

"Shouldn’t you be in bed? Madame Kalonia excused you for three days of rest."

She shakes her head, ignoring the way her brain feels like jello. "I'm okay, Professor. I didn't want to get behind."

He lets out a long sigh before leaning back in his chair, "The mind is a delicate thing, Miss Niima. You would do well to listen to the nurse's advice."

She nods, and without waiting for him to offer, she settles into one of the seats across from him. 

"Thank you for your worry, but I had something I wanted to ask you."

Luke doesn't say a word; instead, he takes a quick sip of his caff and motions with his hand for her to continue.

"It's about what happened yesterday, between Ben and me. Is that normal?"

Luke raises a brow and gently puts down his cup. "Not normal, but not uncommon. And given the situation - well let's say I should have been more thoughtful in what I asked of you. I know happy memories are a sensitive area for you. If I recall, you had similar difficulties when summoning a Patronus in fifth year."

She colors at the memory. Everything has always come so easy to her, especially in Defense Against the Dark Arts. It wasn't until last year when they started their unit on dementors and Patronus' that she met her first struggle. It had been a torturous four weeks of lessons and practice until eventually, she managed to conjure a wisp of one with Luke's guidance.

His voice is tinged with sympathy, "I take it you are still using a conjured happy memory to summon your Patronus?"

She flushes and nods. In truth, she has never revisited casting a Patronus after passing the unit. It was the first time she ever earned anything below average, and the sting of failure still cuts deep. Worse is the crippling fear that even if she did try again - no matter how many times - she might never have a happy enough memory.

So she is thankful when Luke decides to drop the subject and move on.

"A tumultuous mind can be difficult for any legilimens to traverse. And Ben is exceptionally experienced for his age. I had thought he would be more compassionate in helping you learn." There is a pained expression on Luke as he turns his gaze away, and she realizes that he is blaming Ben for the incident. He thinks his nephew was too hard on her.

A sudden need to defend Ben erupts in her chest, "Professor, he was gentle. He tried to calm me down. He was compassionate. It was my fault. I panicked. I was panicking before we even started."

Skywalker's piercing blue eyes meet hers, and she wonders if he is reading her mind. There isn't the familiar slither she has come to recognize as a mental invasion, but her intuition is screaming something is amiss.

"So what did you want to ask, Rey?" He says a moment later, diverting his eyes and she fears he may have found what he was seeking.

She shifts awkwardly in her seat but plows ahead.

"Could there be lingering effects?"

She sure doesn't miss the flicker of fear that crosses his face as he sits up straighter.

"What kind of effects?"

The intensity that permeates the room now is stifling, making it hard for her to gather air.

"Dreams or memories? Or seeing ghosts of someone when they are not there?"

"Are these things that have happened to you since Ben entered your mind?"

She shuffles under his gaze, feeling like she is one that has done something wrong under his intense gaze, and whispers a soft yes.

"Right." Luke starts to get up then, settling into pacing behind the desk. "Right."

Then he pauses, turning to look at Rey, "Sometimes these things can cause aftershocks. Nothing to be worried about. It should pass in a day or so."

"And if it doesn't pass?"

Luke's brow knits in determination.

"Then we will deal with it."

She doesn't like the way his eyes glaze over like he is thinking about something else instead of being here in this moment. Nor does she like the answer.

Deal with it? Why can't they do something about it now? She doesn't want to wait for this to just pass. She wants Ben's memories out of her head. And she sure as hell doesn't want to see another of his nightmares.

Or for him to see one of hers.

Finally, he stops pacing and turns to Rey. "Give it three days. If you are still having trouble, then we will talk. I'll get Madame Kalonia to mix some tonics to help you sleep."

She nods, relieved to hear he plans on doing something should this thing stick in place.

"But Rey, I am going to ask that you stay away from Ben. He isn't in a good place at the moment, so the more distance you put between each other, the better."

There is that steel to his voice. The kind she only hears when he speaks of his nephew, and it hits her the wrong way. It makes her feel scolded. She didn't choose this, and she is sure Ben didn't pick this. But she pushes down the indignation. She doesn't know Ben at all, and his uncle, her very respectable professor, is telling her to be careful.

She should listen.

And if that isn't enough, the dream from last night is still fresh in her mind. And when her finger twitches, remembering the sparks of pain that tore through her nerves, she balls her hand into a fist.

It is enough to make her agree to heed Skywalker’s request.

——

Luke sends her directly to Madame Kalonia, giving her the perfect opportunity to avoid Ben. Once Kalonia deems her hale and sends her on her way with some mild sleeping draughts and a Pepper-Up potion whizzing through her veins, she heads for her next class a few minutes early.

Just a corridor down from Arithmancy she stills in the hallway. Leaning against the archway, directly blocking her path to her class, is Ben. His bag of books is slung over one shoulder, and all of his wild hair is tumbling over his face. His posture radiates confrontation.

Her heart hammers in her chest, and she can't tell if its Pepper-Up Potion or his presence that makes her nauseous. 

Taking a deep breath, because she can't very well avoid him forever, she squares her shoulders. 

The second he hears her shoes - stupid uniform mary janes that make it impossible to walk quietly - his head snaps up, and those piercing dark eyes are on her. He unfolds, filling up a good portion of the doorway with his height and size.

But she doesn't hesitate to step forward - hardly in the mood to deal with this. Her head feels like it is splitting in half and she has a class to get to.

"What did you tell Skywalker?"

So that is what this is about? She pauses just a few feet from him, tilting her head to meet his gaze. His eyes are a pool of embittered anger, but she swears she sees a flash of hurt in them.

Swears that same hurt tingles along her spine.

"I told him I was having some side effects from yesterday. It had me worried."

She holds his gaze as he tilts his head as if checking her for any signs of dishonesty. When she doesn't flinch, he lets out a sigh and runs a hand through his hair.

"That's it?" He asks a little softer.

"Yeah. That was all. He said it was normal. Aftershocks he called them. Said it was best if we stayed away from each other for the next couple of days so it could fizzle out."

It isn't precisely what Skywalker said, but it sure sounds much nicer than telling Ben his uncle warned her that he was dangerous. Ben mulls this over for a second before nodding and leaning back against the wall, all his aggression falling away.

"So you didn't say anything about me pushing into your mind?"

That startles her. 

He lets a little smile tug at his lips, the one that he sometimes shows during class when no one else is looking - the one that warms her insides.

"Right. Didn't think that sounded like you."

"Is that what Skywalker said?" She feels her cheeks flush in anger, remembering how Luke assumed Ben wasn't gentle on her mind. Even after she told him differently, had Luke insinuated otherwise to Ben?

"Not in so many words," Ben evades, "But it doesn't matter. You didn't say it."

He says it all so calmly, too casually. As if he is trying to pass over how much it hurt him. That it causes her to take a step forward instinctively.

"No, I even told him that you were gentle when you tried to enter my mind. You didn't do anything wrong."

And he didn't. The only thing Ben did wrong was to threaten her when she tumbled into his mind - and she can't hold that against him. She had felt how scared and surprised he was - and she had panicked, too. Were she in his shoes, no doubt she would have done much the same.

She places a hand on his arm, and he glances down in surprise. She expects him to pull away or to shrug it off. Instead, he stands there staring at her hand like he can't believe it is touching him.

"You didn't do anything wrong." She says again, this time more forcefully. She wants him to feel how true her words are.

A warmth bubbles in the center of her chest, right around her heart, which makes her smile warmly up at him. She isn't sure where the feeling is coming from - it feels oddly different from her own emotions. But it makes her gently squeeze his arm in reassurance.

Then she pulls away, dropping her hand to her side. She puts some distance between them and prepares herself. Now that he is here, and calmer, there is something she has to ask him. 

Even though she is afraid of the answer.

But she wants to be honest.

"I went to him because I was afraid. I didn't tell him this, but I had a nightmare last night. Only I don't think it was a nightmare, and I was called Solo."

Ben goes pale at her words. His voice is whisper soft when it finally comes out.

"Were you in pain during it?”

Out of all the things he could say, this isn't what she expected. Maybe she thought he would deny it, or even sneer at her and shrug his shoulders — not this.

"So it was a memory?" She says quietly, ignoring his question. 

He winces. And then he is a blur of movement - shifting his bag and then turning to leave.

"Maybe it is best if we stay away from each other. Give this time to fizzle." Pauses. 

"Sorry, you had to endure that."

Then he is starting to walk away. But she can’t let him just walk away, not when she needs confirmation. Not when she needs to be sure he is who everyone else claims he is.

"But it was you. You did that?"

He freezes mid-step but doesn't turn back toward her.

"You seem to look for the best in people, Rey. Don't look for it in me."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! And don't worry, while this story will have a healthy dose of angst it will also have a healthy dose of bond shenanigans. Hopefully, it will be your cup of tea. Please let me know what you think. All comments and kudos are beloved. <3
> 
> Also, just a little note for future updates: they should occur quickly. This story is completely written, I'm just in the process of cleaning/editing.


	3. Chapter 3

Arithmancy is intolerably dull for once. She flies halfheartedly through a series of cryptograms, not even bothering to check her accuracy against the key before she plops her chin into her palm and stares at the wall.

I look for the best in people? She mocks him in her head, imaging his deep timber with a sing-a-song voice. What kind of crap is that? She never looks for the best in people, if anything she searches for the worst in them.

It took her a good year to become friends with someone other than Finn. She stuck to his cloak like the frightened eleven-year-old she was, guarding her bag of used books and new wand with a feralness that made most scuttle away from her. Hell, she only ended up in Hufflepuff because she begged the hat to let her follow Finn. It’s only been through years of being in dorms with others her age and having a vast knowledge of locking spells that she has gained enough confidence to trust in her ability to defend her heart.

So who does Ben Solo think he is casting that load of bullshit on her? Like she is some naieve girl that blindly believes everyone is made of sunshines and rainbows.

Far from it.

And if he is right, and she does look for the best in people, then why does she still hex Hux every chance she gets and avoids Phasma like the plague? They don’t have redeemable qualities. Never once has she seen them apologize or be kind.

But she has seen that in Ben.

She pulls out a sugar quill and starts chewing on the tip, mulling over her thoughts.

But now that she has seen what Ben has done - can she compare that to petty things like bullying first years and teenage callousness that Hux and Phasma display? He tortured people with an Unforgivable. Every bit of that memory crawled with signs of him being a Death Eater.

And how could there be good in him if that is the path he chooses?

He said so himself, he has no good.

She chews harder, wincing when the tip of the sugar quill shatters and sharp, crystalized sugar stabs her tongue. She wrinkles her nose as the metallic taste of blood fills her mouth.

Stay away from him. That is all I need to do. And he said he would stay away from me.

She repeats the words like a mantra until the bell rings and she drifts off toward the Great Hall in a daze. Maybe once she gets some food in her belly, her mind will settle and she can move on.

\----

The Pepper-Up Potion makes the rest of the day pass in a blur before it wears out after dinner. She drags her ass to the dormitory and crashes onto her bed before her eyes droop. She doesn’t even bother with the sleeping-draught, leaving it forgotten in the bottom of her bag.

She wakes at some ungodly hour, burning up on one side of her body. She turns, kicking back covers only to meet resistance - like her covers are stuck. So she flips over, reaching out to grab them and finds a wall of warmth.

She squeaks, and her eyes fly open to meet an expanse of pale skin. It takes a few seconds, and some measured breaths before she realizes she is staring at Ben's back. Slowly she shifts away, until she is sure he isn't disturbed, and then curls herself into a corner of the bed where not a single bit of them touches.

Her bed isn't small, but it sure isn't made for two people. And it definitely isn't made for someone Ben's size. Even sleeping on his side, he takes up a majority of the bed. Like the night before he is without a shirt, the covers drawn up along half of his torso. His arms are curled around a green pillow, hair wild against her golden sheets.

She almost reaches out to shake him. Wants to know if he is really there. But her skin still burns where she slept against him, and she knows he will be solid. And just what would she say when he did wake?

So she sits there watching his chest rise and fall while she waits for him to disappear.

He doesn't, and minutes turn into an hour before she finally unfurls and grabs what she can of her sheets. Glancing at the spot she once filled, where they slept side by side for possibly hours, she then takes a look at the cold stone floor.

She could sleep there, on top of the carpet with the afghan she managed to snag. But if one of her dorm-mates woke and found her on the floor, there would be questions.

With a low groan of exasperation, she gently settles back on the bed and slowly shifts until she is hanging on to the side of the bed. It puts inches between them, but it is enough.

She's slept on too many floors in her life to turn down a comfortable bed even if she does have to share.

Just as she is about to drift off, knuckles white from gripping sheets, she snaps back to consciousness as the bed shifts, and she rolls toward the middle. Squeezing her eyes shut, she prepares for the worst.

"Rey?"

There is that deep velvety voice from the night before, the one tinged with sleep. Only this time it doesn't disappear into the night.

"Stop pretending to be asleep." He says a moment later, and she feels a poke in her side. She reflexively pulls her legs toward her chest, but she flings her arm back to bat away his hand.

"I was hoping you would disappear," She hisses, "Apparently it doesn't work that way."

He sighs, and scoots toward his end of the bed, resting his head on his arm while he looks at her. She shifts, too, mirroring his position. A no man's land of wrinkled yellow sheets stretches between them. 

Merlin's beard, she curses.

She tugs her afghan closer, feeling vulnerable despite the ratty t-shirt and athletic shorts that keep her covered. And she makes sure she keeps her eyes locked on his, not daring to take in more of his chest.

"So the staying away from each other is working well," He mumbles, stifling a yawn.

Her eyes narrow, "Bit hard to do when you keep showing up in my bed."

He raises an eyebrow at that, "And here I thought you were showing up in mine. Two nights in a row." 

"I thought it was just part of the dream. How are you even -"

Ben's hand reaches out and tugs at a wrinkle in her sheets, eyes dropping from her gaze. But he continues.

"Astral Projection. It's not uncommon with a strong legilimens bond."

"A what?"

He glances up at that, brow furrowed, "My uncle didn't tell you -" He pauses, tilting his head to the side. She's noticed the habit when he is puzzling over something in class. "Oh, he didn't."

"Didn't what?"

"He suspects when our minds merged the other day that we created a bond."

"He said it was aftershocks. That after a few days it will wear off. And that if it didn't then, we could talk about what to do next.“

Ben holds her gaze, "He was hopeful. In the history of mental magics, there have been no such things as aftershocks. Either a bond is severed, or it stays put."

She pulls back, shocked. But she can feel the truth in his words. There is none of the panic that moved through Luke’s eyes. Just simple truth. 

“How do you know this?”

Ben lets out a sigh and goes back to tugging at the wrinkles of her sheets. “He told me.”

“Then why didn’t he tell me?”

“Knowing him he wanted to spare you. And give himself enough time to find a cure.”

“Then why are you telling me this?” She looks up, wriggling a little closer, "If your uncle didn't want me to worry, then why are you making me worry?"

Ben takes a deep breath, and she feels a sharp spike of fear zing through her heart. Immediately she knows it isn’t her fear, but his. Just like earlier when she felt that foreign emotion. This thing, this bond as he calls it, is growing not lessening.

“Because I don’t want him to.”

Her breath catches at his confession, but she doesn't dare drop his gaze. And before she even knows what is happening his hand is reaching out, ghosting along her temple and pushing back some of her hair. She is too stunned to move, too captured by the little tingles that follow, that she doesn't pull away.

"And you should have a choice in severing it or keeping it."

His hand falls away, and she doesn't know at all what to say. She can't very well keep it. She doesn't want this to happen at all. She can't take another of his nightmares or waking to find him in her bed. Or anything else that may come to follow. And she wants to yell this at him, but there is a vulnerability to him as he lays across from her that keeps her from outright saying it.

And then there is the issue of why he would choose to be bound to her. But she pushes that question back, not willing to explore that possibility when getting rid of this connection is the priority. 

I don't want to be bound to you. You are a monster. I know, because I felt it. Her mind hisses, but the words don't form on her lips.

He winces as if he heard them and she is suddenly very aware of a little pressure pulling back from her mind. Immediately she pales. He was in her mind. Without permission. 

Her hand curls into a fist, and she prepares to cast a blow. After all these years of magical training, she still defaults to physical violence to solve her problems.

But Ben is fast. He catches her fist in his hand before it hits his jaw.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to..."

"You were in my head!" She hisses, beyond caring if she wakes her dorm-mates.

"I just slipped in before I could stop it." He hisses back, voice quiet despite the waver of fear, "Your like a radio that never turns off. I can hear you all the time."

"So it is my fault?"

She pulls back on her arm and shifts to use her legs to kick against him, flushed and angry. How dare he?

He's still trying to get her to calm down and listen to his reason, "It's no one's fault," He tries, "It just is. That is why I am telling you about the bond."

She stops kicking, even though it is because he manages to grab one of her ankles so she can't effectively kick him.

"Oh, so you don't want me to blame you? That way I won't break this bond with a death eater that tortures people?"

He goes rigid, eyes flashing.

"Right. Because I am a death eater that wants to keep a mental bond to a little Hufflepuff girl with no happy memories," He snaps back.

She freezes. He must realize how horrible his words were because he immediately lets her go, eyes wide.

"Fuck - that came out wrong. I didn't -"

"Tell your uncle to do whatever needs to be done to break this, Solo. Or I swear on Merlin's grave I will break it myself." She growls, "And get the hell out of my bed."

Flipping over, she curls herself into a ball with her back to him. She closes her eyes, desperately hoping he will disappear into the night. But she is not so lucky.

"Rey, I am sorry."

"Go away." She growls.

She can feel his hand hovering in the air just over her shoulder as if he can't decide if he should comfort her. A second later he pulls it back. Then the bed shifts as he settles with his back to her. Silence stretches between them for an untold amount of time, and she almost falls asleep before his voice gently calls out.

"I told you so you can research the bond yourself. There are consequences for severing a bond like this."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. More soon all you HP and SW fans. <3


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Where Ben and Rey absolutely suck at staying away from each other.

She doesn't understand Ben Solo. One second he is telling her to stay away because he isn't a good person. The next he is telling her he doesn't want to sever what is growing between them. Then he is insulting her, then apologizing, and then dropping mysterious hints.

It doesn't help that when she wakes up the next morning, she finds she has been carefully tucked into her sunshine yellow sheets. She has never had anyone tuck her in before, and she kicks off the sheets like they burn her. 

But it only gets worse. Once she crawls out of bed, she lifts her trunk lid, fully prepared to grab her uniform, only to have her fingers curl around something far softer. She flings the lid open, staring at a precisely folded bit of cloth that shimmers as she shifts it in the light. Some bakers twine is wrapped around it with a simple note attached with neat penmanship.

_Restricted Section. Start with Dumont. This will help._

She stares at the words, knowing very well who sent them, probably through the house-elves if the baker's twine is any indication. And then the last three words make her drop the note. She glances at the pile of silken fabric, almost like water in the way it reflects and bends the light around it. Slowly she undoes the twine, letting it fall to the floor as she unfolds the cloth.

The bottom of it pools on the floor, revealing a huge cloak. Eyes wide, she quickly crosses the room to the mirror. With a flourish she tosses it over herself, feeling a thrill of pure joy.

She has no reflection.

She sticks a hand out of the cloak, watches as it hovers in midair, and pulls it back in with a squeal.

She can see through all the woven threads almost as if she is covered in gauze - but it is enough for her to easily make out her surroundings.

No fucking way.

A big smile tugs at her lips. 

Ben Solo might be an asshole and very possibly a Death Eater, but she'll be damned if she isn't happy to know him just for the chance to use an invisibility cloak.

Thrilled, she tosses it off and gently folds it back into the neat square it arrived in. She pushes back her uniforms and presses the hidden compartment of her trunk before sliding it carefully into its new hiding place. She adds a couple of extra layers of protection spells before she takes off for the showers, a little more pep in her step.

This bond is probably going to be the death of her, but she might as well enjoy the perks.

\----

_Did you like it?_

Rey spits out her pumpkin juice, eyes flying through the space between Kaydel and Paige to find Ben across the hall. Sure enough, his dark eyes are focused on her. The corporeal words flicker over her mind, chased by a sense of sincere curiosity.

She drops the scone she is holding.

_How are you doing that?_

She doesn't even realize she sent that thought to him, or that he could hear it until he responds.

_Bond. This is why you need to research it._

Her eyes narrow, and she drops her gaze. Wasn't that what Luke always said about legilimens? They needed eye contact?

It doesn't work.

_You liked the cloak, didn't you?_

This time his voice comes across as teasing, and suddenly she is met with a little taste of excitement. It takes her a second to realize it is her own emotions mirrored back to her from Ben's perspective.

And it is the oddest, most frightening feeling, this echo of her own emotions.

_Stop getting in my head._ She growls back and a twinge her fright skitters across the bond.

_Stop projecting so much and I will._ He says with a little touch of irritation. _And while you are at it, copy the pages in Dumont about shielding. You need the practice._

Then he pulls away, leaving her mind feeling eerily empty. 

She sighs and grabs her dropped scone. She takes a big bite, ripping at the pastry while she ignores the raised brows of her table mates. 

She needs to get this fixed. Now. There is no way she can handle him creeping up in her mind when she least expects it.

\----

Rey pauses at Skywalker's doorway, shuffling her feet as she debates whether to bother him. Her three days are not up, and she doesn't have DADA today so appearing after he told her to wait might set off red flags. But if she is truthful with herself, her hesitance is from what Ben divulged. She knows in her bones that Ben isn't lying. And though she wants his words to be untrue, her intuition is telling her that Luke has been far less honest than his nephew. 

It’s enough to make her doubt his ability to be a trusted neutral party. 

_I can't believe I am doing this_ , she thinks as she turns and walks away. _I can't believe I am trusting Ben more than Luke._

But as she heads toward her class, quickly finding Finn, she can't help but think about the invisibility cloak tucked away in her trunk.

All she has to do is figure out what this bond is. Then she can confront Luke. And once she understands what is happening, then she can get this mess cleaned up.

\----

She's done some questionable things in her time at Hogwarts. Staying out past curfew is a once a week affair - at least. There is something about meandering the corridors in the moonlight and learning all the little nooks and crevices the castle has to offer that makes her feel free. Sure it has gained her more than a few detentions in her early years, but she hasn't been caught in ages.

So she doesn't need the invisibility cloak. She almost finds it insulting that he assumes she needs it.

Almost.

But she sure isn't going to pass up the chance to walk around the school unseen.

So when curfew falls, she quickly sneaks off to climb under the cloak. It is a breeze to get out of the common room with no one the wiser. Not a Hufflepuff turns when the common room door mysterious opens. So when she starts down the corridor, she is riding a giddy high.

She makes it to the Restricted Section without a speck of trouble. Only when she knows the Prefects are well out of range does the drop the cloak and start the incantations to open the Restricted Section. It is not her first foray into this part of the library, it's practically a right of passage to break into the Restricted Section, so she makes short work of the locks.

Finding the book Ben recommended doesn't take long. She's memorized the sections ages ago, though the mental arts is one of the few areas she hasn't bothered with. Soon enough she has a shiny silver book in her hands, Dumont’s name glittering on the surface. She grabs a couple of other books, just to cross check Ben's recommendation, and then quietly resets the locks.

She slips off to the back of the library and slides into her usual chair. She throws the cloak over herself, knowing that once she starts reading she won't be able to pay attention to anything else. And it wouldn't do for her to get caught with her nose in a book by a Prefect. 

She starts with Ben's suggested book.

She flips through the table of contents, searching for anything that might be useful. Finally, she flips to a chapter that sounds promising, pausing at the headline.

"Find anything interesting?"

She jumps at the deep voice close to her ear and stares up in panic as the invisibility cloak is plucked right off her head. She isn't sure if she is relieved or frightened to see that it is Ben leaning over her, mischief dancing in his eyes.

"How did you -"

He pulls out the chair across from her, not bothering to be quiet about it, and then tosses the cloak over the back before having a seat. She shushes him, which only serves to make his eyes crinkle happily.

"Afraid you'll get caught, Niima?" He teases while he reclines back in his seat like he doesn't have a care in the world.

"It's after curfew in the library. You know as well as I do that there is always someone on patrol."

He waves it off, "No one is coming. Tico and Trooper are on duty, and we both know they have better things to do than walk the corridors. And Maz is the professor on duty, which means she is down in the kitchens halfway through her second pint."

Rey's mouth falls open, impressed.

"Then why did you tell me to use the cloak?"

Ben shrugs, fondly running a hand over the cloak like it’s a beloved pet.

"Thought you'd enjoy effortlessly walking the corridors, instead of scurrying around in the shadows like usual."

She flushes.

"How do you know that?"

He pats the cloak again, "Invisibility cloak, remember? I can see you, but you can't see me."

That makes her raise an eyebrow, and she tries to ignore the way her heart pauses when she realizes he has watched her in the corridors before. Maybe even for years.

"Kind of strange you didn't say something."

He snorts at that. "And how would that have gone? A voice without a body calling out to you in the dark - 'Hey, Rey, where are you off to tonight? Library? Same here.'"

She doesn't bother to fight the genuine laugh that shakes her shoulders at that.

"Got a point there, Solo." And then her eyes fall to the cloak, "And thanks for letting me use it. It's not every day someone gets to their hands on an invisibility cloak.”

Ben's face breaks out in a rare smile, one that tugs up both ends of his mouth and makes his eyes shine. It makes her breath catch.

"Well I don't let just anyone borrow it, but I knew you would treat it with the care it deserves."

She can't stop the slight blush his words bring to her cheeks, and has to look away. 

"How did you get it, anyway? I thought there were only seven in existence?”

Ben's eyes are focused on her face, and he waits until she meets his gaze again before answering.

"It was a gift. From my dad."

The way he says it is so full of emotion, and the light that was shining in his eyes dims. Something darker takes its place, and she gets a heady cocktail of simmering anger, sadness, and pride down the bond. 

He must read the question on her mind, for he answers it a second later.

"He won it. His first big gamble, he liked to say. He passed it to me when I came here as a welcome to Hogwarts gift."

Rey sits there stunned, completely confused by the emotions pouring down the bond that doesn't seem to match the kind story Ben tells of this cloak. But then he is sitting up straighter, eyes falling on the book in her hand.

He changes the subject before she gets the chance to ask him more.

"Started with Dumont, I see."

His hands then stretch across the table, glancing at the other titles she picked. Grabs a tiny one with black leather and holds it up.

"Good choice. Dumont has more information on bonds, but Hadley has some real insight into possession and astral projection."

"Possession?" She says quietly, a well of nausea building in her gut. That was a thing with bonds, too? How much worse can this get?

Ben sighs but doesn't skirt around the topic. Instead, he gently puts the book on the table and holds her gaze. "There are different types of bonds. Some, let's say those formed by less than innocent means, can be used to influence the other participant."

A chill runs down her spine, and she doesn't bother to hide it. Ben leans back in his chair, brow knit.

"You don't have to worry about that."

"I don't?"

It's Ben's turn to shudder, and his eyes cloud over like he remembers something. "Definitely not. Repulsive, that."

She almost pries, but she has seen enough of Ben Solo's memories, that she holds her tongue.

"But -" He shakes his head, dispelling the memory, "I think you'll find the astral projection bit interesting considering the last two nights we've spent in each other's company."

How his eyes go from haunted to that dangerous twinkle so fast, she has no clue. But she quickly looks away before another blush can reach her cheeks. She taps the silver book to shift his focus.

"And this one? You said it would explain the bond."

She almost expects Ben to ignore her sudden change in topic but is surprised when he sits up straight.

"Dumont was a powerful natural legilimens that, unlike many before him, didn't shy away from his gifts. Instead, he decided to research them. He studied hundreds of cases of legilimens, natural and learned alike. Some of his best work, however, was done on bonds."

While he talks, she opens the book and flips to the chapter she started to read before he interrupted. Skims over the section until she finally lands on something and begins to read it to him.

"There are many types of bonds, all dependent on the point of initialization. The most common bonds are formed between an occulmens and legilimens partner through practice. Some can be simulated through cursed markings, tragic connections, backfired curses, and powerful legilimens that work their way into a fragile mind."

Ben nods, already familiar with this information.

"But in rare cases bonds are formed between minds that are neither built nor developed. Instead, they appear to happen at random. These bonds, regardless of their initialization have these qualities in common: participants have highly empathetic personalities, have aptitudes for the mental arts, and have an emotional connection."

She stops there, slowly raising her gaze to meet Ben. She can't discount any of it, save her aptitude for the mental arts. But Ben empathetic? It is not something she would use to describe him. But then she doesn’t really know him, does she?

"Keep reading," He says quietly, placing his head in his hand.

"In the case such a bond forms it is stronger than any other I have had the chance to study. Of the three cases I am familiar with, the bond continued to grow stronger with time. Generally the stronger the wizards or witches the stronger the effects of the bond. This includes shared telepathy over great distances, sharing of emotions, passing of images, astral projection, and even the sharing of learned skills."

"This sounds exactly like what is happening to us."

Ben nods, "I thought so, too. Luke thinks the same. In some of his later published works, Dumont believed these bonds will always find a way to occur. He started to believe that minds like ours are meant to bridge together."

She isn't sure what to make of that. It makes it sound so horribly - fated? Or perhaps caging would be a better word. Her heart sputters in fear, and she immediately closes the book.

"What does he say about ending it?"

Ben sighs as if exasperated with her, and she feels a wave of disappointment whisper down the bond. But instead of saying anything, he reaches forward and takes the book. Quickly he thumbs through it, and she realizes that he has read this book enough to know exactly what he is looking for and where to find it.

It makes her feel way out of her depth.

When he finds it, he starts reading, "Such intimate bonds come with consequences for breaking them. Out of the three cases I studied, one attempted separation. Two young minds were bridged, and fearing detriment to their growing brains, a skilled legilimens attempted to break the bond using the methods typically used for the dissolution of a possessive bond. The results were devastating. One suffered a brain hemorrhage and the other was placed in a mental institution after their mind was unable to cope with the loss. The other two cases, where the partners lived well into old age, both partners died of natural causes within one week of each other. It is generally agreed upon in the field that such a bond makes it impossible for one mind to exist without the other once the bond is established.”

She shudders as Ben gently drops the book to the table.

Even as she says the words, they feel hollow. "Maybe Luke knows something we don't."

A dark shadow passes over his face, and she wishes she could take it back.

"We can talk to him tomorrow." Ben finally offers, though she can tell it is hard for him to say the words. Then he is pushing back his chair, grabbing the books and heading for the bookshelves. Surprised she jumps up, grabbing the cloak and then scurrying after him.

"I think this is enough for tonight." He mutters while he puts away the books. "Best if we don't push it too late. I don't know about you, but I haven't exactly slept well the past couple of nights."

She glares at him when he grabs the cloak out of her hands. And she prepares to argue with him, but before she can say anything his hands are on her shoulders, and he spins her around. He steps in close, enough that she can feel the warmth of his chest seeping through her shirt and she flushes. She almost pulls away, until the familiar fabric of the invisibility cloak falls over her and his intent becomes clear.

"We have to get closer for this to work," He whispers, and she curses when her heart skips a beat. His voice is low and husky, and all she can think of is the warmth against her back, and how his breath makes her hair dance.

She should elbow him, to remind him that he shouldn't be so familiar. But then his hand is snaking around her waist, and her brain stops working.

Then they are moving forward, as one, darting around tables and drifting back into the corridor like they have been walking together for years.

He walks her back to her common room, pausing to let her whisper the password before his hand drops from her waist and the common room door swings open.

"Thanks," She whispers, not sure how to put her thoughts into words. There is a lot to digest, and having his emotions mixing with her own is making it far harder. And the more she is around him, the more confusing he becomes. Despite all that, she can't help but admire his vulnerable honesty. 

"For showing me that tonight. It scared me, but I would rather know."

He nods, and she feels some of the tension that was brewing between them lessen. 

"I'll go to Luke tomorrow," She adds, not wanting to lie to him.

"I'll be there. I think it would be best if we both are."

She isn't so sure about that, but then she remembers how Ben reacted when she first went to Luke. And she isn't so sure Luke won't try to make up more stories, regardless of his reasons. At least like this, they will all be on the same page and there won’t be lies between them.

Or so she hopes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Luke is NOT going to take this team-up well. And can Ben dial down his intensity (of course not, he's a mess, an honest to a fault mess)? And how is Rey going handle the realization that this bond isn't going anywhere? 
> 
> Thank you so much for reading. Until the next chapter.❤️


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey learns this bond isn't going anywhere. Ben gets vulnerable.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's back - and it's not abandoned. Thank you for hanging in there - I promise this will be finished.❤️

“I should have known.”

It is all Luke says when they enter his classroom the next morning. As usual, he is seated at his desk, a cup of caff in one hand and a marking pen in the other. He drops his spectacles on the table, and his eyes dart between the two of them.

The longer the silence stretches, she finds the tension between uncle and nephew expands. The last thing she wants is a confrontation, but Ben’s edginess coupled with her hurt over Luke’s lies of omission make her words terse. 

“You said it was aftershocks.”

Luke winces, shoving his hands in his pockets, “It was a guess, Rey. I needed a moment to do research - to be sure there was no cure.”

Ben crosses his arms and finds a table to lean against. To her surprise, he says nothing. He seems content to let her take the floor. Sure he is glaring at his uncle, and the rigidity of his muscles speaks volumes, but she suspects he is enjoying having someone else fight with his uncle. 

Luke seems less than pleased by their unified front.

“What did Ben tell you?”

“No much. He had me read books.”

Luke combs a hand through his hair as his eyes dart over to Ben. He addresses him instead of Rey, eyes narrowed, “Which books?”

“I suggested Dumont. Even you can’t argue his credentials.” Luke snorts. “And Rey found Hadley on her own.”

At that Luke snaps his attention back on Rey.

“Hadley? And what did you think of that crackpot’s theories?”

Her eyes flicker over Ben, not sure if she wants to glare at him or ask for support because she doesn’t know how to answer that question. She hasn’t had the chance to read Dumont, much less this Hadley person. When Ben gives no sign of help, and Luke’s glare is boring into the side of her face, she decides to go with honesty.

“I haven’t had the chance to read it. I just picked it up while I was grabbing Dumont. It called to me.”

Luke rolls his eyes, “Of course it did. Have a tendency to jump right for the questionable magics, both of you.”

Rey flushes at that. It isn’t the first time Luke has called her out for researching what he considers ‘unsavory’ magics. But Luke is so stodgy about things. In his book petrifying someone is a step down the path of dark arts. He so firmly believes in defense over offense so it is impossible to not get scolded. It doesn’t help that she tends to shoot first.

“Hadley is not questionable magic. Current theories support much of her research. Dumont and the Wizengamot have acknowledged her advancements in the mental arts.”

“Oh yes, let us just sweep her participation in the Dark War under the rug, why don’t we?”

Ben goes to open his mouth, and she can feel the argument brewing. If this continues they won’t get anywhere.

“Fine. Hadley, Dumont, doesn’t matter. We all agree that this is a bond?” Her commanding voice makes their arguments wither on their tongues. Their gaze’s snap to her and Ben raises a brow. She glares at the two, crossing her arms over her chest.

Luke finally nods, “Nothing else it could be. I had hoped -“

“So what are the options for severing it?” She cuts him off.

To his credit, Ben doesn’t flinch. 

His uncle does.

“You already know that answer,” He says quietly.

“So no chance of severing this without killing us or making us mental?”

“Not a lot is known about these things, Rey. They are rare. The few that have been studied all point to an integration of the minds that is impossible to untangle.”

She deflates. It is the answer she was expecting - Ben had tried to tell her - but it isn’t the one she was hoping for.

“But,” Luke starts to perk up, the softness leaving his voice, “if we can’t sever it, maybe we can block it. It might not be a solution, but it might make it easier.”

“Block it? Like shielding? But isn’t that just occulumency?”

Luke makes his way over to his desk and has a seat. He becomes a flurry of motion as he begins grabbing parchment and quills, “Yes, but if you can learn to shield your thoughts from Ben then you can get your mind back.”

She looks between the two of them. “And Ben. He’ll need to shield, too.”

Luke snorts at that, his eyes skittering over to his nephew. “Don’t have to worry about that. You won’t get through his mind unless he wants you to.”

She turns to look at the large boy leaning against the table, who shrugs.

All this time he has been slipping into her mind and complaining about her projecting loudly. She hadn’t realized she never clearly feels things from him or catches his errant thoughts like he does hers. The only time she had caught a part of him was the first night when she slipped into his dream - and that was before either realized they were bonded.

“I didn’t know,” She says quietly, feeling very much like the ground is sweeping from under her. Why hadn’t Ben told her? She was starting to trust him, stupidly assuming they are on equal footing.

But they aren’t.

“Don’t worry,” Luke says, and she can’t help but remember the last time he said that, “I’ll get you up to speed with Ben soon. He has a couple of years on you. And he’ll help you. I’m sure he would like to get his mind back, too.”

The glare Luke pins on his nephew is nothing short of condescending.

Rey has to look away, feeling caught in the middle of a family fight all while battling with this new information.

“Yeah. I taught myself, so I imagine I’ll be a better teacher anyway.”

Luke winces at Ben’s jab, and for the first time, Rey sees a hint of guilt cross Luke’s face. It is fleeting, and by the time he turns back to Rey, it is gone.

“Right. We will need to get you on a practice schedule. The sooner you get better at this, the better things will get.”

Then he is scribbling away, producing a timetable that marks after-hours lessons on top of her regular class schedule. It is classes with him, twice a week, one of which also includes Ben.

It looks like her nights are going to be a lot less free.

——

Her mind is blissfully quiet. Upon leaving Luke’s room, they are both solemn. Since she can’t read his mind as he does hers, so she can’t get a grip on what he is feeling, though she is getting the impression he isn’t upset.

She suspects he might even be happy about the outcome of their meeting.

Which is baffling. How could someone like Ben, who is mired in the dark arts, want to be bound to someone like her? What advantage does she provide?

She tries to push her jumble of thoughts to the back of her mind and focus on classes. While she is caught up from her trip to the hospital wing, the demands of NEWT level classes are enough to distract her from thinking about Ben.

The hours after classes she spends reading everything she can about bonds. When curfew falls, she plucks a few of the books from the restricted section, including the two from the night before, and copies the pages onto parchment so she can read them later. By the time she slides into her bed, it is well past midnight, and she is thoroughly exhausted.

She attempts to read a bit of a book she copied, but her eyes betray her. She falls asleep with the parchment stretched across her chest.

Sometime in the dark of night, his arm falls over her chest, causing a loud crinkling sound to spring them both awake.

He pulls back as if scalded, and watches in amusement as she thrashes in shock. Only when she settles does his smile disappear, though his eyes still twinkle. He grabs the parchment from her stomach without asking, eyes scanning the words.

“A bit of light research?” He asks before gently rolling it up and handing it over. She carefully sets it to the side of the bed, being sure to keep the sheets from moving too much. She’s all too aware of the bareness of his chest - does he ever wear a shirt to bed? - and how bare her legs are under the covers.

“I like to know what I am dealing with.” She says through a yawn.

“I’ve read almost all of it. So feel free to ask questions.”

Too tired to do much else, she shuffles until she is turned toward him so she can meet his gaze. There is less room between them now than there was the night before.

“It's not a question a book can answer.” She says quietly, “But I need to ask it.”

There is no hesitation from him, just a little nod. His eyes are dark, though. Intense. How has she missed that aspect to him - this tension that is always cording his muscles even when he is calm or sleeping? Does he ever relax?

“It's personal,” She adds, to prepare him.

That makes him give the slightest uncomfortable shift, but he doesn’t look away, “Okay.”

So she takes the plunge. “How are you so good at shielding when it takes two years to be decent at it?”

She knows. She has done her research.

Ben winces and runs a hand through his hair. She almost pulls the question back, to tell him not to worry about answering it, but he shakes his head.

“I told you before, Rey, that I am not a good person.”

Her heart thunks unpleasantly at the reminder, and she steels herself for his next words. Is he going to talk about that dream? What about other things he has done? Her silence spurs him on.

“Those things I did - it started with a man. He was a very skilled legilimens. When I first met him, I didn’t realize he slipped into my mind. By the time I was a fourth year, he was deep in my mind. He -“ He pauses, and a shudder racks his body, similar to when he picked up the book by Hadley. Suddenly she knows precisely where this is heading -

“He possessed you.” 

Ben shakes his head, “Not for all of it. Most of it was me. A very confused, very angry, but very much me. There was only one time -“

He chokes on the words this time, and then shakes his head, “I can’t tell you about that one. But Luke found out about the bond that he made with me. So he forced me to build my occulmency skills. He was determined to keep him out. I was determined to keep him in - I thought he was a part of me. He was a part of me. It wasn’t until I finally realized what his intentions were that I finally came to terms with what I needed to do. Luke gave me the foundation. I taught myself the rest.”

A sheen of sweat glistens on his skin while shudders ripple through his muscles. His body still remembers the man's touch. She thinks back to the vivid dream she experienced with the evil man days before, and it makes her shudder. She’ll never forget the illness of the man’s touch, and it wasn’t even her memory. How fresh must it still be for Ben who lived through it?

She reaches out, a snippet from one of the books flickering through her mind. She imagines her favorite comforts - like Finn’s hug and Poe’s laugh. She thinks of the warmth of the sun on her skin. She visualizes the towering spire of Hogwarts in the distance when the express crests the hill promising a new year of magic and safety. She settles the feelings into one pure beat of thought and presses her hand to his arm, strengthening the bond.

A thick shield covers Ben's mind, not a single crack exposed. She lets the feeling rush over the wall, and to her surprise, some of his tension abates. His bare skin is scorching under her touch, but neither move, afraid to break the spell that holds them frozen in this moment.

_How are you not afraid of this, after living through that kind of bond?_ She thinks sometime later, her hand never leaving his arm and her calming thoughts still lapping at his barriers. 

She expects him to shrink away. But his hand comes up to wrap gently around her wrist, holding her in place.

His voice is full of warmth when it comes across the bond.

_Because this is very different._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It was short - I know. But it demanded to be left on this note. I certainly hope you enjoyed it (and that it was worth the wait). Now we know a bit more about Ben's previous bond and Rey is starting to come to terms with this new situation. But don't worry, it won't be long before one of them is mucking up this budding relationship. Just you wait.


End file.
